It is always fearful to begin to write and know that you do not have the answers to the questions you are raising. So, I’m admitting that I am raising a hard question, but one that needs to be asked so that we can evaluate and re-align our lives around biblical principles.

I sit with students and their families often who walk into my office and share a story similar to this…

The student had been growing in their faith and attending church faithfully. The family was experiencing peace and the joy of the Lord in their home. Everything was great. Then, for one reason or another, the student is encouraged or decides to on his or her own accord get a job. When applying for jobs the supervisor tells the student that they will offer flexible scheduling. After the student takes the job, they are asked to work on Sundays and are not able to be in church.  When the family gets to this part of their story, they usually say something like, “We thought it would be temporary” or “we noticed attitude changes” or even, “our family just thought that life had changed and we were in a new stage.” The next thing the family shares is that the job turned into an every Sunday thing where their child was never able to go to church. Then, through tears, they tell me the blow up in their home that finally caused them to reach out for help. Some of the blow-ups have been pregnancy, realization of drug and alcohol use, or withdrawal of the teenager from the family.

My heart breaks for these families because often the damage that has been done is not repairable and their lives are forever changed.  I am all for students working. I think all students should pull their weight in the home. I think we must develop within our children a good work ethic. I also think there is a parenting responsibility to ensure the spiritual wellbeing of your child.

Lets look to the Scriptures:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

This verse is telling us to teach our children the commandments of God that should be in the parents’ heart.  Unfortunately, many times even the parents model that money and success are more important than taking time for spiritual things. We have bought the lie that we don’t really need to be in a community of faith and fellowship with believers walking through same life stages and experiences. This passage is helping us understand that as parents, we should model to our children the commandments of God and teach them diligently or continually. We must communicate the priority and truth of Scripture to our teenagers always.

Proverbs 22:6:

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

This verse gives parents instructions about their role as training their children for Godliness. How will a child know that placing their job as a higher priority than spiritual growth is sinful unless they see it and hear it from their parents? We can teach them at church all we want, but until they see it and hear it at home will they truly comprehend how to prioritize their spiritual life above all else.

It’s humorous that we wonder why research tells us that over 85% of students graduate high school and also graduate from church. Could it be that truthfully, when they got a job, they graduated from church? Possibly, when they still live at home, parents push them to keep up their appearances at church, but now that they are out of the house, they do what they wanted to do anyway and choose not to be involved in the body of Christ because of their work and busy schedule.

There are many other verses we could look to for these principles, such as Ephesians 6:4, Matthew 6:19-20. The point is not to lecture about what might be going wrong. The purpose is to begin a conversation…

So the question is, “How do parents prioritize their child’s spiritual development while teaching them the responsibility of having a job?”

Please leave comments of your thoughts and lets see if we can learn from each other… more to come on this topic!